Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

I had a guy come into the store earlier today with a few friends. He comes to the counter with a D&D Players Handbook, the latest adventure module , a set of "official" D&D dice and character sheets. I ring the purchase up and let him know that his total will be $79.54 to which he replies, "Oh, I didn't think you were going to charge that much."

Huh?

I think to myself, "What he must have meant was, he didn't think that everything would total out to be that much". I look at the prices on the items and start to read them out to him when he gives me THAT look. Like, "I'm not an idiot. I know what the prices on the back say." He says, "No, I know how much it says they are but I can get this stuff online for, like, 50% cheaper. Are you going to match that?"

WTF?! I can feel my anger rising by the millisecond.

"Hmm." (Uh oh) "Well, you see, I charge the retail price because I'm a retail store!" (Yellow Alert! Yellow Alert!) "If you would like to get them cheaper, then I understand, (Incoming! Incoming! DIVE!! DIVE!! DIVE!!) but I am not an online business. I have actual overhead costs. Like rent. And buying fixtures." (Oh god, here we go.) "And I'm not some damn mega chain that can afford to purchase a GAZILLION of something (Code: RED! Code: RED! This is not a drill!!!) so that they can sell it cheaper than the the little guy because they bought it in "bulk". (For the love of God, stop!) No, I'm a small business, in every sense, and when I tell you that every PENNY that I make is precious to me, it isn't because I'm some Scrooge-fucking-McDuck, it's because I'm not making that much off of this stuff in the first place and therefore EVERY PENNY IS PRECIOUS! Now, if you would like, the cost is $79.54."

The guy looks at me like I'm going to start swinging an ax at him at any moment, which, had I an ax, might have. His friends start laughing. Then he starts laughing. I'm still a bit pissed but feel my anger subsiding. However, I'm pretty sure they guy is either A.) going to yell at me, B.) Punch me, C.) Both yell at me and punch me or D.) Leave.

Instead, he opts for E.)

"That's cool man. I was just trying to save some green but I can see your point. I'm going to get some Magic packs too."

You could have knocked me over with a feather.