Let's get a few facts out there before we continue. I haven't watched Battlestar Galactica or Lost since their first seasons. I haven't seen the new Indiana Jones movie nor do I have any intention of doing so. I do not care about the next installments of GTA, HALO, Mario or, for that matter, any video game. Indeed, I scarcely play video games at all. (Not unless it requires me plugging in a fake guitar or drum set)
I think The Transformers, GI Joe and Thundercats are lame and I think that computer animation is overrated.
Joss Weadon is NOT the greatest thing to happen to Sci Fi/Fantasy in 20 years and Firefly was canceled because it was A BAD SHOW!
And if one more person tells me I don't like Family Guy cause I don't "get it", I'm going to slap them back to tomorrow! WHAT THE FUCK IS TO "GET"? I don't like Family Guy cause it's a poorly animated, badly written, atrociously voice-acted bloody stool sample of a show!!! Not because it's written so well that the jokes go over my head!
*ahem*
Sorry. Started going on a bit of a rant there. Anyway. All of that is to say that while I may not watch certain pop culture things or even like certain pop culture things, it doesn't mean that I'm not knowledgeable about them. Just because I haven't watched Lost for the past two years doesn't mean I don't know what's going on in the show. Just because I think Family Guy is crap doesn't mean I don't know who the characters are. Well, for the most part. I like to think that my geek level is as high or higher than most.
But apparently, I'm not enough of a geek for one consumer. This is a conversation from just a few hours ago. The guy I'm talking to is at least 30, has a severe lisp, is at least 250 pounds overweight, walking with a walking stick and has his mother with him. I have tried to preserve the conversation as verbatim as possible.
Me: Hi. What can I help you with?
Him: I highly doubt that YOU will be able to help me with anything but I shall ask anyway in the event that the stars have, indeed, aligned today. Do you have any copies of the issue wherein Captain Marvel is fighting his arch foe?
Me: *pause* Uhm... (Trying very hard not to laugh) Are we talking about the Marvel Comics Captain Marvel or...
Him: No! No, no. No. If I was speaking of the Marvel Comics Captain Marvel I would have asked for Captain Mar-Vell. That is why I asked if you had any issues with Captain "Marvel". Marvel. Not Mar Vel. Surely I do not have to....
Me: (On the verge of laughter) So, you're interested in Shazam?
Him: NO! If I were interested in "Shazam" as you so stupidly put it then I would have asked for Shazam! It is precisely as I feared, you are another comic shop that only pretends to be knowledgeable about comics but you are not! You are a comic book charlatan!
At this point I burst out laughing so hard that I can't breath. Tears are streaming down my face. I am trying very hard to apologize for my behavior but I'm just waving like a madman.
Him: Come mother! This is no place for us!
And with that, he storms out of the store. His mother follows and shoots me a look, well, if looks could kill, I'd be a dead man now. As she leaves she says the only thing I heard her say while in the store, "You,... STUPID!"
And the best part, the store is full of people. I mean, like 10 or so people! And ever single one of them is laughing. Jesus, I'm laugh as I write this and it's been almost 3 hours! I know I shouldn't laugh at the guy but man, he was SO over the top! And the sad thing was that he was so very earnest. Goddamn, I love people!
Lesson Learned: Easements are totally scary.
9 years ago
7 comments that I will completely misinturpret:
So then, which Captain Marvel was it?
And I thought that Marvel had a Mar-Vell and a new (Post-Annihilation) Marvel?
You let em off easy. I'd have followed to the sidewalk to throw copies of Annihilation at them. And not just the comic, but full trades. Maybe even Conquest, so it's hardcover...
Holy Arrested Development, Batman! You should have at least tried to get a picture of the guy to put up in the shop. "Worst. Customer. Ever."
Your Geek cred is secure.
Excuse me, Elwood, but did you perhaps miss his grave insults against Joss Whedon? And Firefly? Geek Cred= -1345893435 points.
That's it, Darth, I'm going to leave a bunch of obnoxious teenage boys in the store for you to throw out and I'm going to make a Punisher display.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Besides, he owns a comic book store and I don't, therefore his geek cred > mine.
Firefly didn't suck, tho.
I'm still docking his geek cred points. Even if he anointed the register scanner in the name of Whedon today for me in the hopes that it and I would develop a happier relationship.
That was poetic! The sad part is there always seems to be one of these guys that visits comic stores/toy stores/video stores. I just bet that if you had found the comic he wanted he would have gone into a dialog about the contrast between how Captain Marvel is written now versus 20 years ago when I DON'T FREAKIN' CARE wrote it.
And I think Family Guy is a pile of poo as well.
ok, I get why someone wouldn't get the whole firefly thang based on fox's treatment of the series. They frakking sucked at just about every element of support, production and episode sequencing that they could've. Honestly, it was amazing when seen in sequence and given a little latitude for development of character and plots. I'll loan you the series if it makes you a semi-believer. :)
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