Demotivational Posters

They are horrible. They are sexist. They are wrong on SO many levels. They made me laugh.

Chocolate Motherload Cake and Cheetos

Folks, I warn you now. This isn't gonna be pretty.

I don't normally eat breakfast. I'm usually just not that hungry in the morning and by the time I do get hungry, I'm stuck at the shop. So my first, and only, meal of the day is usually dinner at 9:00 pm. Every now and then I will get so hungry during the day that I will put a "Back In 5 Minutes" sign in the door and run across the way for some pizza at Pizza Schmizza or downstairs for a Ruby Melt at Ruby's but that get's really expensive really fast so usually, I just don't eat.

Friday night after work, I decided I would stop by the market and get some food to keep at the store so that I could eat when I got hungry. Now, I could have gotten some apples, pears or some other fresh fruit which would be a good for me snack. Or I could go the fresh veggies route and get some carrots or celery with a little ranch dressing. That wouldn't be to bad. Or maybe something a little more substantial? I could get a loaf of bread and some peanut butter and jelly.

What did I get?

A 9 oz. bag of Cheetos.

Cause I was really craving some Cheetos at that moment and I thought, "That will be fine. I'll snack on a few Cheetos when I get hungry though out the week. A handful of Cheetos a day isn't terrible for me." And so I got a large bag of Cheetos. (Besides, who can resist Chester Cheetah? He's easily the coolest corporate logo created in the last 20 years!)

So, Saturday comes and I'm at the shop when I start to get hungry. I look at the bag of Cheetos and realize I'm really craving chocolate cake. Well folks, lucky for me there is a Claim Jumper restaurant right here at Redmond Town Center! And damned if they don't have chocolate cake there! So I throw the "Back In 5 Minutes" sign up in the door and run over and buy me a $10 slice o' chocolate cake! For those of you who have never been to Claim Jumper, here is said cake: Yes, you are counting right. That is six layers. To quote the Claim Jumper menu:

Chocolate Motherlode Cake
Super Moist Slice of our Six-Layer Chocolate Cake with Chocolate Chips, Fresh Walnuts and Chocolate Fudge Frosting 9.95

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Chocolate cake. *drool*

Sorry. So I get my six layer, chocolate fudge frosted, artery killing monster cake and proceed to eat it. I get about half way through it when I start thinking, "You know, this is a lot of sugar. I'm kinda craving something salty now." Well I am damn lucky that I have a bag of Cheetos sitting right here! So I crack open that bag of cheesy yumminess and mow though about half the bag before my brain says these exact words, "You know, that's a lot of salty deliciousness you've just had on top of all that chocolate mana from heaven you've consumed. Don't you think you should stop now and give it a rest?" To which my stomach said, "Shut the fuck up bitch!"

I then proceed to finish the cake and bag of Cheetos and top it all off with a 24 oz. can of Jolt Cola. (I told you this wasn't gonna be pretty.)

And now for the sad part. Just before I started writing this I caught myself thinking, "Man, I'd really like some chocolate cake."

SOMEBODY STOP ME BEFORE I EAT AGAIN!

An Apology to Qtilla and friend

Yesterday afternoon I received a visit at the store from the beautiful and talented Qtilla, of Seattle Umbrella Conspiracy and Spoilers SUC fame. It was the first time she had been able to make it by since the opening and I was glad that she made the time to come in. Not only had she come by but she had brought a friend with her, (who's name I do not know even though I have now met him twice) It was a super slow day and normally I would have been thrilled to have friends drop by and chat but unfortunately, as I said before, it was a slow day. So slow that I thought, "Hey. The guys in my guild on Warcraft have been bugging me to do a raid with them for months now. Let's see if I can swing it this evening."

I had, literally, just spent thirty minutes convincing them that I would be able to raid with them and we had just started the fore mentioned raid when Q walked in the door. Now, all I had to say to the two of them was, "I'm so glad you came by but unfortunately I just started something online that I can't get out of so if I seem distracted, I apologize." I would assume that being around geek culture as much as Q has been, she would understand. But I didn't say that. As a matter of fact, I don't think I said much of anything. Without going into the particulars of my weekend, I was a bit out of it Sunday regardless of playing on the computer or not. Not that I am using that as an excuse. Just stating a fact that I was a bit of a zombie anyway Sunday.

Anyway, at the least, I must have seemed distracted. At worst, I must have come off as rude. In any case, I owe an apology.

I am sorry.

I hope that my social stupidity doesn't prevent you from dropping by again when you are in the area. I hope that I didn't cause any kind of embarrassment to The Comic Stop family by being an idiot. I promise that next time you are here, I will not be such a moron. (Well, at least not so rude as to play games while you are here. The moron thing I'm just stuck with)

Becoming a better person by being a couch potato Part 1

Part one in my new weekly series of putting the spotlight on films and shows that will entertain while making you *gasp* think! First up:

Mindwalk - A personal favorite of mine. I've watched this film several times and come away after each viewing with new thoughts and ideas. However, make no mistake. This is not a film for everyone. To call it “dialogue heavy” would be like calling the Grand Canyon a “big hole”. The statement would be accurate but would not convey the reality properly.
The film has no plot to speak of. (I know. I'm really selling it here, huh?) It's about two friends , one a poet and the other a failed presidential candidate, who get together while in Mont Saint-Michel, France. While walking around the island they come across a Norwegian scientist and the three of them have a conversation. That's pretty much it. But, oh, what a conversation! It's intelligent and thought provoking without being preachy and artificial. Like a real conversation, the topics of conversation jump around a bit. They range from politics to physics and then to poetry. Looking for mindless entertainment? Don't look here.

The major knock on this film is that nothing happens and that's true. At no point in the film does one of the characters suddenly stave off the invading alien horde that is about to conqueror France. Nor does the one friend profess his unrequited love to the other friend as he lays dying in a pool of blood after having been gunned down by the mafia. Neither does the Norwegian scientist turn out to be bent on world domination and only the two crafty Americans, who turned out to be not only a poet and a politician but ex Secret Service operatives as well, stop her. Nope. This is just two hours of people having a conversation that may or may not change the way they think about things. With luck, it will and with luck, it will do the same for you. I highly recommend tracking this film down.

Wall-E and Wanted

I went and saw both Wall-E and Wanted over the past few days. (I've been on a regular movie going binge lately! Iron Man, Hulk, Kung Fu Panda and Speed Racer in the past 2 months after having gone to the movies only 3 times last year) The bottom line on both of these movies is...

Meh.

They are by no means bad movies but neither are they as good as they could have been.

Of the two, Wall-E is getting the better reviews from movie goers. Several people have come into the shop and said not only is it the best film that Pixar has ever done, it's the best film this year. To those people I ask, "Did we see the same movie?"

Wall-E is, more often than not, to heavy handed with its "go green" message. I applaud the sentiment but I really don't want to watch an animated version of An Inconvenient Truth. There is no subtlety in the movie. And, honestly, after blatantly ripping off Doc Hollywood with Cars I had a lot of problems watching Short Circuit's Johnny 5 starring as Wall-E. The same goes for H.A.L. as the ships navigator. Yeah, yeah. I know. They are suppose to be "homages". I say that the folks at Pixar are suppose to be more creative than that. I hope Pixar's next, Up, doesn't use Geri as the old guy. (Geri is the old man that has been seen in the Pixar short Geri's Game and as the toy repair guy in Toy Story 2)

I'm not saying that Wall-E was a bad movie. Quite the opposite! It's good. It's just not as great as it's being made out to be.

Wanted also falls into the "could have been great" category. As a fan of the book, I was eager to see the movie. I knew going into it that many of the particulars of the story had been changed and I was fine with that. So long as the overall social commentary was still there I thought it would be ok. And it is there, to some degree. It's just not as blatant as it was in the graphic novel. Which is too bad because while the movie was visually stunning,(And I'm not just talking about Angelina Jolie), it fails to actually say anything. It's ultimately a standard summer action movie, albeit with a little bit of a dark humor edge. Had the filmmakers embraced that dark humor whole heartedly, I think this could have been a really classic action film.

Either of these is a fine choice to see if you are looking for a movie this July 4th weekend but if you haven't already done it, go see The Incredible Hulk over either of them.

Animated Movie List Part 2... or not. Instead, SUPERMAN!

Part of the problem with trying to write while at the shop is that sometimes those pesky customers come in and demand to give me money. (And really, who am I to deny them?)

It's been almost a week since I wrote about Yahoo's stupid movie list and, amazingly, I find that I just can't get the anger to rise like it was last week. Some fine suggestions were made in the comments and there are still several films that I would like to comment on but ultimately, or at least for today, I just find the subject not to my liking. Perhaps I will revisit it again soon but for now I will leave it be. Please feel free to continue to leave comments about films you think are worthy additions to a "best of" list.

New comics came in today and there was one in particular I would like to comment on.

Action Comics #866 - This is the start of yet another revamp of the Brainiac character. (Really? Again? Can't we pick a retcon and just leave it be?) But that's not what I want to comment on.

The artist on the book is Gary Frank. I generally don't care for his art. I don't hate it but there is something about his style that always makes me think, "Meh." Lately his art has looked, to me, like a cross between Frank Quietly and Paul Gulacy. That's not a pretty picture, so to speak. And the first few pages of this issue are typical Frank. Nothing great, nothing horrible. Just meh. But then, on page 13, he draws Clark Kent doing something that just made me smile. Not a "That's funny" smile but a "Thank you. You just made my day" smile. A joyous smile. A smile that makes me remember how good it feels to feel good. What was it that Mr. Frank drew that made me feel this way you ask?

He drew Clark Kent pushing his glasses up with his index finger.

*crickets*

I know. That doesn't sound very exciting. Or funny. Or important. Or uplifting. It doesn't sound like anything, does it? And yet, it was all those things because in that one moment, in the way that he drew it, he made the DC Comics Clark Kent into the Christopher Reeves Clark Kent. It wasn't that he drew his Clark Kent to look like Christopher Reeves. But at that point in the reading it was feeling like he was trying to evoke Reeves without actually doing his likeness.

Some who read this won't make a distinction between the the comic book Superman and the Christopher Reeves Superman but for a great many people Christopher Reeves IS Clark Kent/Superman. It was his portrayal of the character that turned so many of us into fans of not just Superman but into comic book fans. I can easily say that seeing Superman: The Movie for the first time was just as important to me as seeing Star Wars for the first time. Looking at Superman: The Movie today it is easy to forget how amazing it was to see Superman fly. And that's all we wanted from that movie! Hell, that was the whole ad campaign! "You will believe a man can fly." Ah, simpler times.

So I'm reading the book and that little nod to Christopher Reeves comes up and I get all warm and fuzzy and I'm smiling like an idiot when, two pages later, Mr. Frank makes me into a kid again. I mean, I feel JUST LIKE a little kid again. I wish I could describe the feeling. I was almost teary eyed because it felt SO FUCKING GOOD! There he is, in a full page panel. Christopher Reeves as Superman. Gary Frank has captured him magnificently.

And suddenly, just like that, I'm a Gary Frank fan.

Yahoo users are Morons!

Yahoo just announced it's 30 top rated animated movies as voted by it's users. Really? Over The Hedge? One of the best animated films ever? The Simpsons Movie? Horton Hears a Fucking Who?!? These are the best that Yahoo users could come up with? Here is the list:

30. Bambi
29. Jungle Book
28. Sleeping Beauty
27. Over The Hedge
26. The Simpsons Movie
25. Ice Age 2
24. Ice Age
23. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
22. Howl's Moving Castle
21. Mulan
20. Peter Pan
19. Horton Hears A Who
18. Lady And The Tramp
17. The Nightmare Before Christmas
16. Princess Mononoke
15. Cinderella
14. The Little Mermaid
13. Enchanted
12. Shrek 2
11. Cars
10. Monsters Inc.
9. Spirited Away
8. Aladdin
7. Beauty And The Beast
6. Toy Story
5. Ratatouille
4. Shrek
3. The Incredibles
2. The Lion King
1. Finding Nemo


I'm not even going to go off on the actual ranking of the films. Suffice to say, I'm not impressed. (Finding Nemo is better than Toy Story by 5 spots? Maybe. The Incredibles is better than Toy Story? WTF?)

I realize that movies are subjective and that one persons favorite may not be another persons. However, I also realize that when you make a list of the best "animated" films a prerequisite should be that the movie BE ANIMATED! Including a movie like Enchanted, with it's whole 10 minutes of animation, and not including The Iron Giant (Easily a top ten best animated film EVER) makes your list instantly laughable. Besides, if you are going to go with the animation/live action hybrid, Who Framed Roger Rabbit is the better movie by far.

Shrek 2 and Ice Age 2 rate in the top 25 but the superior Toy Story 2 doesn't even make the list at all?

According to Yahoo users, Ice Age 2 is better than Batman: Mask of the Phantasm, Horton Hears A Who is superior to Akira and put down that copy of Fantasia you were thinking of renting 'cause it's no Over The Hedge.

Please don't get me wrong. I thought Ice Age 2 was a decent movie. I've watched it a few times. There are moment in Over The Hedge that I laughed out loud. I'm not trying to demean those movies but they also do not rate mention in a list of the best animated films ever made. Oh, I'm sorry. This isn't a list of the 30 best animated films of all time. It's a list of the 30 top rated animated films by Yahoo users. Well. This just shows what complete morons must be using Yahoo.

I can't say that I've seen Horton Hears A Who yet but I feel confident in saying there is NO WAY that it's a better or more enjoyable movie than Bambi, Peter Pan or Snow White, all of which were rated lower than Horton. And don't think that I'm some Disney purist guy either. Mulan, Lady and the Tramp and Cars don't deserve to be on this list either. There have been better and/or more enjoyable films from Disney in recent years than those. Lilo and Stitch comes to mind.

I mean, if were gonna rate a film purely on it's enjoyment level and not on it's technical and/or historical merits then The Land Before Time should be on the list. No, it isn't a great movie but tell me it isn't more fun to watch than Howl's Moving Castle. You can't. Where is Wallace and Gromit? Or even Chicken Run for that matter.

So, instead of complaining too much about the list, (I know. Too late), I've made my own. My criteria for the list is also a bit different as I have included direct to DVD/Video releases. My basis for inclusion were 1.) Enjoyment level 2.) Production Value and 3.) Historical value. They are also in no particular order. Just 30 great animated films. I won't have time to list them all today but I will unveil a few each day. Or maybe I'll do all the rest tomorrow. Who knows. :)

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs - Even if this were not the first major studio full length animated feature it would have made the list. Beautiful animation, a strong story and wonderful music make this a must have for any DVD collection.

Lilo and Stitch - It's funny. Had the film not been set in Hawaii but instead in, say, Detroit and been colored in a non-pastel pallet, this would have been Disney's first, (and probably only), goth film for the whole family. Lilo is Lenore growing up in Hawaii. She's odd and just a little bit damaged but still so very real. Add to the mix the total anti establishment hero Stitch and you have an animated film that is sweet, sad, funny and uplifting without being schmaltzy or calculating. Easily Disney's best non-Pixar film of the past decade.

The Nightmare Before Christmas - Like I really need to justify this one. 15 years later and there is still nothing like it.

Monsters Inc - Disney/Pixars second "buddy movie". In many ways I like this movie better than Toy Story. It's more flat out funny even if Toy Story has a bigger emotional punch. However, the ending to Monsters Inc is just perfect. I still tear up every time I watch it.

Toy Story - The movie that killed traditional animation. For that, we should hate it but it's SO good that we just can't. A perfect voice cast makes this one still watchable even if the CG animation is starting to show some wear. Still, even from a purely historical context, this is the movie that showed the rest of the world that CG was the future and hand drawn animated features were to be a thing of the past.

The Lion King - Again, this one really speaks for itself. Or rather, sings for itself. The movie isn't really the greatest one to watch but, oh!, those songs. Just try and not hum Hakuna Matata for the rest of the day.

The Iron Giant - So full of great characterization that you almost forget these are just drawings on paper. And isn't that what great animation is all about? Anybody who doesn't laugh out loud at the squirrel scene or shed a tear at the end is just not human.

There's my first seven. More tomorrow.